SBTB 03.12 - The Last Weekend

I'm going to start out with our Shut Up, Dustin Diamond feature this time around because it is not the typical type. Normally I like to highlight when Screech gets some preferential onscreen treatment from the ladies. So, while this looks like it fits the mold -

- it isn't why the feature is showing up. No no no, the reason Dustin Diamond needs to shut up is because he has kissed, been kissed, or rubbed up on so many good looking ladies by this point in the series that what happens to Slater is downright unjust.

For all the hate Screech feels like he gets from his SBTB cohorts, he definitely schmoozed more quality ladies than the rest of the cast. So hey! Shut up, Dustin Diamond.

I'm not sure about everyone else, but I was enjoying the Malibu Sands episodes. The previous five were a nice, fresh take on the crew and their relationships (which actually seemed to hardly exist). That all changed within the first few minutes of this episode. I don't know why, but the magic of this location is dead to me. I'm glad this little arc is over.

Maybe it is the gimmicks. Gimmicks like - "Oh, the Carosis are mad at each other and we'll trick them into showing up for a picture and then making really lame excuses to leave the stage so that it's just the two of them left so they make up."

Gimmicks like - "We made a sand castle, just try not to notice it bouncing around behind Screech because it is absolutely fake."

And if the perfect form of the castle didn't alert to its fakeness, maybe the lowered door made out of magic sand proved it.

Alright, enough belittling the episode. Let's move on.

Guests last. It seems that while I didn't like this episode it still packed in some star power. First off, Jordan Christopher Michael.

Jordan Christopher Michael - Welcome to puberty!

Do you know this kid? This is Billy. He hits on chicks and gets them to touch his knee. He is eleven. He also had a role on "Full House." (Remember Rusty? That precocious little prankster and Stephanie-kisser?) Hollywood was done with him at an early age. No worries, he now does freelance photography around L.A. and his stuff looks really cool. You can check out his Instagram handle @someonesleeping. Very worthwhile.

The other star showing up for the Malibu Sands finale:

Denise Richards

This is Denise Richards, who has the looks to be asked to stage the worst drowning ever. She did it marvelously as the character Cynthia, who is supposedly going to attend Bayside. That never happens. (Maybe this Hollywood slight is the reason she made the 'best' decision of her life and marry Charlie Sheen...) There isn't much to know about Denise Richards outside of "Wild Things" (guys will know what that means), "Undercover Brother" (white guys who think they understand black culture enough to laugh at a movie about why white guys should not laugh at black culture will know what this means), and "Seinfeld," where her cleavage prevents Jerry and George's show to get picked up by NBC.

All that paragraph and Denise Richards wasn't even credited. Nice.

Feel free to share what stood out to you in the comments below.

Edit: Here are some further, lesser-known Denise Richards appearances.

1) In 1991, Denise appeared in a "Doogie Houser, M.D." episode called "Doogstruck." She plays a terrible date named Alissa who hits on the waiter instead of Doogie.

Denise Richards - Doogie Houser, M.D.

(This episode also has another SBTB alum as another bad date in Suzanne Tara. Her write-up is here.)