Friday, September 20, 2013

GMMB 01.11 - Stevie

We'll get this out of the way here: The young secretary is still around.
But she better watch out. She could get sacked by next episode for her failure to not acknowledge the talent. Then we'd have to endure more old lady.

You know, I remember this episode from back in the day. But of course I do, look at that guest star!
This is Suzanne Tara. I had quite the young man crush on her after this one episode. She plays the dual, Hannah Montana-ish role of Colleen Morton/Stevie. A rock star by night and college-bound teen by day. Could you blame me? She is lovely. Sadly, Hollywood didn't quite think her looks matched her acting abilities because she is roughly an unknown. She disappeared off the face of the map after a handful of appearances. So, let this blog forever be a testament to a fleeting beauty with, sadly, nothing else to objectively offer. (See below for further on her appearances.)

Suzanne Tara notable achievements:
Colleen Morton
Playing 17 and seducing 14
Capitalizing on that seduction
What bad lip synching?
Don't ever let Dustin Diamond (the guy who played Screech) ever complain about how he was treated on and after Saved by the Bell. This. Effing. Happened.

The episode is actually one of the best in these early episodes. The jokes seem a bit more natural. The kids aren't as stiff. It is still completely cheesy, but no one expects less from early teenage kids.

Then again, check this dude out.
I am sure the kids in the crowd were told to go crazy when Stevie takes the stage (for her last performance ever, which consists of one song). Notice that he is the only one that takes it literally.

Atta boy!

Feel free to share what stood out to you in the comments below.

Edit: It seems that this is my most popular blog post so far. Blogger tells me it's because people want to know about Suzanne Tara (since she is hot). So, allow me to show some more appearances that she makes.

1) Suzanne acted as wife Jaimy in "Deadly Prey," a terrible, terrible 80s movie in which she is credited as Suzzanne Tara. She actually does a pretty terrible job in this film. But she looks good, so there's that. Beware: There are a lot of screenshots here.
Suzanne Tara - Deadly Prey
Here she just called her dad because she saw her husband abducted. Not the police. Her dad. He used to be a cop, so I guess that works.

The infamous "He raped me, daddy!" scene.

She holds a gun but her husband doesn't let her keep it despite abandoning her in a grassy cave...

What a terrible way to die - at the end of a very fake gun. And to think, your hero husband didn't let you keep that gun...

2) In 1989, Suzanne starred as Lisa Wax in an episode of "Freddy's Nightmares" called "Do You Know Where Your Kids Are?" It was pretty bad, but she did have the lead role and she did a decent job.

She begins as a nice little babysitter.
Suzanne Tara - Freddy's Nightmare
This role ends with her as a dirty reject killed by her own psycho mother.
Overall, it wasn't a bad performance when one considers the content.

As a bit of trivia, this episode of "Freddy's Nightmares" costars another SBTB alum in Julie St. Claire. (You'll find her write-up here.)

3) In 1990, Suzanne had a small role in the pilot for the "Ferris Bueller" television series. The episode is atrocious and the series only lasted 13 episodes. (The title sequence is one of the worst I have ever seen. YouTube it.) Of note, however, is that it costarred a young and lovely Jennifer Aniston. But that is beside the point. Here is Suzanne's lone appearance as "Surfer Girl."
Suzanne Tara - Ferris Bueller
She doesn't look very "surfer," does she? She does say "rad" in this scene, so I guess that explains her character's name.

4) In 1991, Suzanne appeared in two episodes of "Doogie Houser, M.D." as a candystriper. At least that is what she is credited in her first episode called "Lonesome Doog."
Suzanne Tara - Doogie Houser, M.D.
Her name is actually Dayna and she seems to be a distraction for Doogie from his lady-problem Wanda.
She revisits two episodes later in "Doogstruck" as a date gone bad. (She wants to sing madrigals after dinner? Pass.)
(This episode boasts another SBTB "alum" in the form of Denise Richards, whose write up can be found here.)

5) In 1994, Suzanne played the role of Tammy in an episode of HBO's "Dream On." It was another brief appearance, but her character is golden. She's that type of girl that is always up for doing whatever you'd like to do, just nothing that you've listed.
Suzanne Tara - Dream On
Her last line is by far one of the best from the episode:
"What do you do with all these books?"