SBTB 02.11 - 1-900-CRUSHED

It's a video now! See the video version HERE.

I think it is safe to say that this episode boasts one of the worst raps ever. It is shudder-worthy. Zack has no flow whatsoever.

Even worse: Zack's math. Here is the arithmetic:

• $2 per call x 5 hours per day x 7 days per week = Huh? That's technically $35. We need another piece of data in order to call this a way to get rich.
• How many calls are you expecting to take in one hour? Some calls could run longer than others. Maybe you don't get many calls in an hour. Come on, high school business kid! Fill out those numbers.

Let's pretend that the missed step of calculating calls per hour didn't get skipped. Here is the math with each call taking 5 minutes AND calls filling each hour:

• 60 minutes per hour/5 minutes per call = 12 calls per hour
• $2 per call x 12 calls per hour x 5 hours per day x 7 days per week = $840 per week.

Yes boys. Now you are talking.

Split between two boys: $420 per week. I'd take that. (This is assuming, of course, that Zack doesn't play Screech for a fool and stiff him some cash.) When Lisa gets figured in, she takes half for herself and the boys split the other half: Lisa takes $420 and the boys each get $210. Not bad at all for high school kids on a weekly basis. I think my paper route paid me less on a monthly basis.

This, however, is by no means rich. And, of course, this is the best case scenario. You know Zack goes through dry spells in taking calls. Then again, he also needs multiple phones at some times. Also, how are the students paying for these calls? And how is Zack collecting without his parents' help? Also, why are you still reading this stupid paragraph that doesn't really matter because this is a teen show that gets its kicks on camp and fun and good-looking people?

So, weak rapping, frail business plan - what did this episode have going for it? Boom mics.

Boom!

That boom mic is a little difficult to see. Allow me to present to you the power of further yellow markings:

Yellow Boom!

Better.

Here is the other:

Overboard Boom!

With that out of the way, let's take a look at our guest stars. Michael McManus plays Mr. Manfredi.

Michael McManus

What is going on here? This guy had a recurring role on "Baywatch?" He looks like art barfed on weird. He was the classic television actor and had parts in numerous popular shows. He branched out, however, and was a writer/producer for the mid-90s hit "Mafia" with Jay Mohr (when that guy was relevant). I tip my hat there; I loved that movie and its incredibly inappropriate funeral scene.

Let's move on. Quickly.

Kelly's cute little sister Nicki is played by Laura Mooney.

Laura Mooney

She was cute enough to garner spots in shows like "Mister Belvedere" (in which she plays two different characters in different years) and "The Wonder Years" (in which she plays three different characters in different years), as well as the fantastic movie "Suburban Commando."

Laura also lent her voice to many popular things, like "Animaniacs" and some "Winnie the Pooh" productions. Sadly, I can't find any current information on what she is doing now. I did find, however, that a Polish television site ranks her work as an 8 out of 10 (based on three votes). Way to go.

Feel free to share what stood out to you in the comments below.