SBTB 02.04 - Driver's Education

Get your video version on! It's HERE.

I don't know if she was an integral part of the extras cast before (like the twins you always saw in the first two seasons) but I am seeing Molly the Troll everywhere. It's freaking me out.

Sadly, aside from the paper-thin plot, there wasn't much going on here. Mr. Tuttle has already been introduced. No other guest stars are credited (though I would have loved some backstory on that wavy haired guy). All I have left is --

Boom!

Hopefully the next episode gives us more to talk about.

Feel free to share what stood out to you in the comments below.

SBTB 02.03 - Save the Max

Not only is a video of this blog HERE, but a rap is thrown in to boot!

Bah! I trumpeted the fact that Max hasn't been in this season for the first two episodes and then there he is for the third. I jinxed it. Well, at least it was a depressed, non-magical Max. That was nice. Here is a picture of Max sleeping behind Jesse, who supposedly sleeps with a creepy grin on her face.

Now, I give Dustin Diamond gentle ribbings now and again, but this episode is one of my favorites of his. The dude shines. His afro-splosion, fetal position in the Max, and callous eating of Max's dog (yeah, it's implied) is great and all, but his characters are phenomenal. This scene especially takes the cake.

He relates a tale and does all the sound effects in a fantastic fashion. It's one of the first times I have thought his character has been used to its full potential. This scene alone makes this episode worth the watch.

Later, Screech busts out an Al Bundy impression. For those of you younguns who don't know "Married...With Children," allow me to introduce you to Al Bundy:

Married... With Children

Yes, that is Ed O'Neill from "Modern Family." And yes, that is the show that helped every person in the world see that Christina Applegate had it going on. Screech's impression is decent, but it is sadly marred by a boom operator who couldn't let little Screech have his radio glory.

Now, let's have a little lesson in television magic. First off is the newspaper. Notice the back of the current newspaper running the review of the KKTY:

Now notice the back of the paper that Jesse finds from the 60s:

Yes, they are the same. But they can do that to save on costs. Why should the producers think we should know any different? They shouldn't have to print two different papers for two such incredibly key plot moments, right?

For more television magic, check out Slater's right hand:

This is Slater handing Zack $125. Unless the money was tightly folded and had been taped to his pants (because his hand doesn't go in his pocket) then I submit to you that there was no money in that hand. His donation is worthless. Nobody may notice, however, since they were all asleep.

This trick is handy here since his motion is from the arm away from the camera and blocked by his body and it passes such a small visible space before being hidden by the DJ station. The movement is so fast that you would hardly realize that nothing was actually happening outside of Slater moving his arm - except for now thanks to the internet and screen capturing existing. Sorry, producers. Next time, just give him some light green paper to pretend as money.

Wait, that money couldn't have been taped to his pants. We saw his pants as he entered. Curiouser and curiouser.

Well, that's all for this go-round.

Feel free to share -- Gah!

It's that Molly troll from last episode! It's a wonder Jesse could sleep at all with that thing creeping around the Max.

Feel free to share what stood out to you in the comments below.

SBTB 02.02 - Zack's War

HERE is a video that does so much better than this blog ever did.

Let it be known: Max is out of the credits! The first two episodes are Max-free zones and I couldn't be happier.

Who else is happy? How about Dylan Tucker, the guy that plays Butch?

Dylan Tucker

Why is he so happy? The word on the street is that he was diagnosed with cancer in 1996. He's still around so I am guessing he beat it. He's getting back in the acting game and sets to appear in a movie called "Helicopter Mom" as a tough guy. Well, we all have to start from scratch from time to time.

In this episode, Butch is tasked with vying for the love of Molly between himself and Screech. Please take note, however, that Molly looks like a freaking troll:

I'm sure she's a sweet girl and all, but my "Shut up, Dustin Diamond" segment gets a little derailed this time around.

As to other guest stars (Molly doesn't get a credit?), let's look to the character of Louise, played by Lara Lyon.

Lara Lyon

Ms. Lyon has the unfortunate task of playing a nerd. Then again, like all nerds in the early episodes, she has a recurring role. And, like all nerds, this seems to be the only recurring role she has in her career. She one-ups those other nerds, however, by having served as a producer for a film called "Charlotte Sometimes." I have never heard of it but I am impressed that she tried a little something new.

As for Lieutenant Chet Adams, well, he just has the greatest name in television: Cylk Cozart.

Cylk Cozart

His appearance on Saved by the Bell happens early in his career (which started with modeling). He goes on to amass plenty of screen time, the best probably being "Slam Dunk Ernest." Probably not, but I was a pretty big Ernest fan and I didn't even know this existed. One thing of note: Cylk has the longest IMDB bio I have ever seen for a D-list actor. He may have written it himself, though I'm sure "anonymous" would never tell.

Finally:

Yes, boom mic, the Lieutenant totally sees you.

Feel free to share what stood out to you in the comments below.

SBTB 02.01 - The Prom

It's a video version! It's HERE!

Welcome to a new season! And what do we see first? Kelly's terribly decorated room. This is a huge change of pace, as we normally get a Zack-centric beginning. The episode sets a great tone in focussing more on the group instead of Zack's exploits.

So what are these exploits? Well, the dream sequence is alive and well.

As Geraldo Rivera

Here is Screech acting like Geraldo Rivera. The reason I bring this up is because younger viewers may not realize that Geraldo was not always a lame news reporter (if that is what he still does). Many of us cut our teeth on the Geraldo name via his trashy daytime talk show. That mustache. It haunts me.

Let's move on to something a bit lighter: Guest stars.

John Mansfield

Say hello to Frank Kapowski (played by John Mansfield), a character so pathetic that he can't even keep a job after appearing on screen. Mr. Mansfield was a television mainstay throughout the 90s and only made one jump the big screen in the movie "Space Marines." Oddly enough, he played the role of both Doctor Reston and Doctor Ballard in the same season of "Santa Barbara," playing one, then the other, then back to the other. Good job?

The other notable guest star is Dion Zamora, who plays Alan Fairbanks.

Dion Zamora

You have absolutely seen this guy before in previous episodes and you will likely see him again in future episodes. Sadly, you won't see him in much else outside this fine program. Strike that. Reverse it. He was the bully in "Beethoven's 2nd." Again: Good job?

But, what is this? More guest stars? Why not.

Meet Nardino and Mankuso. Because Smith and Jones weren't believable enough fictional names?

And here is Robert:

He is uncredited. It is most likely because his line about taking marshmallows to the fire in the lab was so bad. Way to be a waste of space, pal.

Then again, he was asked to help fill out the crowd in the movie theater. So he is the exact opposite of a waste of space. Robert is a filler of space. Huh.

Feel free to share what stood out to you in the comments below.

SBTB 01.16 - Save That Tiger

Want a video version? HERE you go!

Season finale and we had another Rhonda Robistelli sighting. You don't care? You should, because that tomboy now looks like this:

Never underestimate the sporty tomboys. (I say this as if she was really Rhonda as a teenager. Sad.)

Principal Elliot Stingwell is played by Ronnie Schell. This guy has been in a little bit of everywhere. For me, however, his best work is in voice overs. Peruse his work on IMDB and see the voice work he's done. Recess. Rugrats. Scooby Doo. Smurfs. Not bad, man. Not bad.

As to the other prominent guest stars, the Clegg Cousins Dan and Stan are played by C.W. Hemingway and Mark Clayman, respectively. C.W. struck out after only four appearances in Hollywood. It is interesting to note, however, that his gig right before his jock on Saved by the Bell was as a nerd in "Head of the Class." Mark has a much better acting portfolio, in that he returns to Saved by the Bell as Moose, as well as acting in other productions. He later branches out and works on the production crew for "Just Shoot Me."

And, once again: Shut up, Dustin Diamond!

Feel free to share what stood out to you in the comments below.

SBTB 01.15 - King of the Hill

This blog is now a video. HERE it is!

It should be fairly obvious that this episode is incredibly out of order. This was supposed to be the first episode of "Saved by the Bell" ever. Yet here it lies, fifteen episodes into the first season. We get introduced to A.C. Slater... fifteen episodes in. We meet heartthrob Kelly... fifteen episodes in. We find out Jessie is Zack's best friend... even though fifteen episodes haven't really proven this yet. We also meet Mr. Dewey and Mrs. Simpson... again. But, you know what? Things happen and snafus like this are some of them. To get your mind off this chronal anomaly:

Boom!

In the course of this blog I have discovered that I need a segment devoted to the instances in which I can yell at Dustin Diamond to shut up about his experience on Saved by the Bell. Once again, he has a magical moment with a lady.

So, here it goes: "Hey, Dustin Diamond. Shut up!" That feels good.

Another segment could appropriately be called "Mr. Belding's Very Inappropriate Moments" because it seems he has one every episode. Here, he tells Zack "You haven't seen 'Dirty Dancing' until you've seen [Mrs. Belding and I] underwater." What?

And did you see this guy in the background try to keep a straight face? He fails.

Finally, some people get bent out of shape calling the double-straw in Kelly's Coke a production goof. Sure, Zack walks over with one straw in the cup but then there are conveniently two, allowing him to take a sip from Kelly's cup. I see this as further evidence of Max's stupid magic. He had already performed two or three stupid tricks before handing the cup to Zack. Why not a stupid trick straw that doubles for pretty ladies? It's plausible and perfectly in line with the character. I'll let it pass. Max is stupid.

Feel free to share what stood out to you in the comments below.

SBTB 01.14 - The Zack Tapes

Wanna hear me do this episode in a COVID voice? Our video version of the blog is HERE.

Yeah, yeah, this is one of those iconic episodes for Zack's use of subliminal messages embedded in a Bo Revere song (which is a fake band whose song is available on the "Saved by the Bell Soundtrack"). Almost everyone knows how the episode goes. For me, though, this outfit is what makes this episode shine:

And I feel cheated with the guest stars in this episode. For starters, Miss Wentworth has already been introduced here. In that episode she is an animal sex education teacher. Here, she teaches about subliminal messages. I'm not sure if she teaches science, English, or a hybrid. Secondly, the nerd with the laugh has already been introduced here. And the laugh is stolen from Crater Face Charlie Coburn from this episode. Lastly, there is a guy named Derrick credited at the end of the episode. I watched high and low throughout the episode and could not discover who this guy is. Then there was this:

Derrick is supposedly played by Nicholas Read, an actor with decent acting credits with a few recurring roles in television shows. Oddly enough, Saved by the Bell is his first television appearance, one in which he makes absolutely no appearance. (My guess is that he is the victim of a deleted scene.) IMDB does list Nicholas as having acted in "Suburban Commando," a fantastically campy Hulk Hogan movie that I definitely saw in the theater.

Speaking of campy: Mr. Belding. And how about another round of Mr. Belding being creepy?

"We're still meeting with my favorite California girl: your mommy." Either that is a very poorly delivered "Yo Momma" joke or a very, very strange relationship with Zack's mother. The episode tries to deliver it as a pun based on the conversation. I don't buy it.

Shifting gears, Saved by the Bell has a lot of fun with itself. Take this lightbulb Jessie gets as she realizes Zack's subterfuge:

The only issue here is the very awkward tilt and zoom that occurs after the lightbulb leaves. The director should have made the shot shorter so as to do the tilt and zoom as the lightbulb left. As it is, there is all that dead space that lasts for a second or two longer. It feels weird.

Another fun thing is this [seeming] homage to the Star Warks Gonk droid:

Feel free to share what stood out to you in the comments below.