SBTB 03.21 - No Hope with Dope

So, remember when we covered Guys Next Door from the "Date Auction" episode? Well, it seems that another member of that group infiltrated SBTB. Nope, it wasn't Ox.

Eddie Garcia

Johnny Dakota is played by Eddie Garcia, one of the members of Guys Next Door. Both shows ran on NBC; I guess we shouldn't be surprised to see some crossover. He makes other appearances on screen, but I am more interested in the roles he has filled: "Miracles Dancer," "Dancer," "Mexican Dancer," "Hot Traxx Dancer," "Hip Hopper," and "Lotus Land Dancer." It should be pretty clear that he is a dancer. Even better, he is a choreographer, which means he tells people how to dance.

Hopefully Eddie Garcia didn't choreograph the dancing in the final video or else I would think way, way less of him. What dancing, you ask? Well:

Notice here how Zack and Co. are out of the shot with the NBC executive and then they all mosey in after his speech. This is supposedly the take they like.

Then:

The final program shows Zack already in the frame as the NBC executive waltzes in, and then the rest of the cast shuffles in after his speech. Shoddy continuity work, fellows. Shoddy.

But who is this NBC executive? Would you believe that this is the tried-and-true CEO of NBC at the time, Brandon Tartikoff?

Of course you would. It is. This man helmed NBC during its heyday, when NBC released long-running, memorable shows. Examples: "The A-Team," "Knightrider," "Cheers," "The Cosby Show," "ALF," and many, many others. And, because it deserves to be in a class on its own, he also was around for "Seinfeld." We owe this man so much! Sadly, Mr. Tartikoff would die at 48 from cancer, but we can remember him for being a great television business man who okayed our SBTB.

Feel free to share what stood out to you in the comments below.

SBTB 03.20 - Hold Me Tight

We talked about the serious Screech High Five Fail over here, but what about this one? Jessie is calling out some of the school's leaders and a dude on the stairs wants to celebrate with a high five.

Danger, dude! Danger! That target hand is totally flaccid! It doesn't look as if your friend expects a high five at all. Sure enough, what proceeds is terribly awkward.

There is an uncomfortable shuffling of hands that results in the two basically just intertwining their arms on the other guy's knee. The dude's facepalm is very appropriate, as this was probably his onscreen big break and he ruined it. In this dude's honor, let's get the Troll out of the way:

There she is atop the bleachers uniting alongside the "nerds." Nerds? Well, that chubby girl with glasses is behind the coach, but everyone else on those bleachers seem normal, including Slater (behind Kelly). Just who exactly is the nerd girl uniting with? Nobody! Molly the Troll gets a pass.

So who is this girl the "nerds" (read: entire population of Bayside?) is uniting for? Ms. Kristy Barnes, played by Krystee Clark.

Krystee Clark

Krystee had the regular on and off again relationship with Hollywood. She appeared in most of the good 90s shows: "Step by Step," "The Wonder Years," and "Roseanne." She also pulled my favorite stunt of appearing multiple times in a show but as different characters in one of my all-time favorite shows "Boy Meets World." Lately? Krystee ran for government in Hollywood. Her goal was to bring back the Hollywood dream. She lost. But she'll always be a winner to me, because she boasts on her LinkedIn page that she was Trish Putterman in the old Duracell commercials.

Good for you - wearing a mask and all.

Feel free to share what stood out to you in the comments below.

SBTB 03.19 - Palm Springs Weekend, Part 2

Oh, Princess Christina. What a dumb, filler story.

Eva Loseth

Christina is played by Eva Loseth, a girl with a few credits to her name. She had a two-episode stint on "Doogie Houser, M.D." and a role in "Deep Space Nine," along with a few others. She also expanded her Hollywood repertoire and co-produced a little film called "Art House." It now appears that she is a realtor back in her home of Illinois.

Let's take a quick peak at some background action:

Notice Captain Odd Shorts/Captain Weird Hair/Captain Woefully 90s Shirt? He isn't really moving on that treadmill, just treading steps, if you will. That lovely gal next to him seems to be helping him get his machine going. When she leaves -

- he seems to keep standing there while leaning on the machine and simply bending his legs. No wonder she left, Captain No-Pain-No-Gain! She was appalled at everything about you, including your workout ethic.

Lastly, how about a mild Shut Up, Dustin Diamond?

Yup, this is way more from Kelly Kapowski than I ever got. So mildly shut up, Dustin Diamond.

Feel free to share what stood out to you in the comments below.

SBTB 03.18 - Palm Springs Weekend, Part 1

I will just say this once: How much did Marriott pay SBTB to run a two-episode commercial for its hotel? Blergh.

With this being a two-parter, we'll tackle some things here and some things in the next blog.

First things first, notice the eyes as the pretty lady walks by:

Everyone is being very respectful of this workout-ready lady as she walks by. Everyone except for Jessie. Look at her stare at that woman's chest as if she were sizing her up as some piece of meat! Does this ogling not look like the very thing she condemns chauvinistic man-pigs for doing, like her boyfriend Slater? (Which, by the way, doesn't seem to be a relationship for this episode.) Eyes up, Jessie, and respect that scantily-clad woman as you preach she should be in every other episode of SBTB. I'll go one further: respect her as much as everyone else, including the boys, is doing right now.

Kelly! Come on! I just spouted about how noble you were in not checking out that workout chick! Well, at least the boys (and Lisa) could keep their eyes up.

But what is it that Kelly just had to check out? It couldn't have been this, could it?

Yeah. That's probably it. Two questions spring to mind. 1) Why is this okay to show in a children's program? 2) How did we go from Lisa's aerobics outfit (seen here) to this:

I have never exercised in a thong but I can't imagine that it would be comfortable. Not in the slightest.

So who is this lady that tantalizes females with her bawdry workout ensemble?

Barbra Brighton

This is Barbra Brighton - playing Leslie - and she did practically nothing else beyond SBTB. A stint on the "Harry and the Hendersons" television show (it was a television show?) and "They Came from Outer Space," mixed with one movie appearance - "The Forbidden Dance" - and her career was over. She was about as legit an actor as Zack was as the Aerobics Club President. Boo yah!

But what about the lucky man to marry this young dame?

George McDaniel

This is George McDaniel, Jessie's onscreen father. He is older, yet is going to marry that younger lady. Good for him. He's had a hand in plenty of productions: "Three's Company," "Knighrider," "This is Spinal Tap," "The A-Team," and other such notable old shows. Work has been a bit more scarce in recent years, though he did have three appearances on three different "Law and Order" shows. Kudos!

Feel free to share what stood out to you in the comments below.

SBTB 03.17 - S.A.T.s

James is back! As before, he plays his character with aplomb. Gusto. Vigor. Yes, Mark Blankfield, you certainly did well. But, I have highlighted you before so I won't do it again. (Though you will show up in this post later.)

Besides James, we had a Mrs. Helen Billingham as a guest on the show.

Susan Osborne

Susan Osborne plays this austere woman, and it is the only role she seems to have ever landed. She did, however, produce some documentaries from inside different factions: the State Department (movie), the Detroit Gang Squad (TV), and polygamy in Bountiful, Utah (TV). Hooray, lady.

But what is she looking at so intently? It must be S.A.T.s, since that is what this episode was about. Check out Kelly's bubble sheet.

The picture is grainy, but you can see by my superimposed graphic that Kelly had only filled in three answers. This makes sense, as her character admits as much. Take note of the page, though. You see all that space up top for personal information? Now check out Lisa's answer sheet from this exact moment in the test:

Uh, that's the back of the sheet. And Lisa already has an entire row filled in. We have a few options here: 1) Lisa is a genius, 2) Lisa is guessing so she can go shopping sooner, 3) Kelly is a dumb, dumb brick. I refuse to believe that sweet Kelly Kapowski could be dumb as a brick, so the answer must be one of the first two options...

Let's turn our attention to hot ladies.

What? Molly the Troll, I didn't mean you!

Christine Taylor

That's better. This is Christine Taylor, the gal who plays Heather Brooks. (I'm bummed that no other still could do her justice.) Do I even need to explain who she is? Alright. She has been in "Dodgeball," "Arrested Development," "Curb Your Enthusiasm," and "Seinfeld." She is married to Ben Stiller, which gets a big demerit in my book. Regardless, she is nice to look at.

Let's get back to James. The scene with him in Mr. Belding's office is a huge curiosity. His beard is clearly falling off; why didn't they just redo the scene?

As you can see from the yellow line, his beard was super loose. So much so, that it falls off in front of Zack. This causes Zack to break character.

And Zack breaks hard. He goes from a super serious student to an obviously tickled student, which would have been incredibly out of character in the moment. So why not reshoot the scene? Well, the producers must have looked at this and deemed it far too funny to cut. Despite Zack's breaking, it actually adds to the absurdity of James's beard. I agree with the inclusion, even if it "taints" the "pristine image" of SBTB.

Feel free to share what stood out to you in the comments below.

SBTB 03.16 - All in the Mall

Two episodes ago we were missing Kelly. This time we "missed" Jesse. Did we though? The cast certainly didn't. They don't even mention purchasing a U2 ticket for her.

The episode is pretty light on content, but I'll give you what I can.

It technically shouldn't count, but it has been so long since I have seen a boom in a shot that I had to include this one, even though it is absolutely supposed to be in the shot. So, boom? Sure.

Now let's look at some character breaks and call it a day.

Once again, Screech is the one breaking. The window was literally just shut in his face, yet he can't help hamming it up before getting a look of shock on his face.

Next:

This one is almost understandable. The group has just engaged in a pretty comical fight - but it was still a fight! Slater and Lisa make eye contact and then have to make that stupid teeth-in-chin face to pull themselves together. At least Screech could keep a straight face.

Feel free to share what stood out to you in the comments below.

Edit: I just found something else out concerning this episode. Remember the sports store salesman? Remember how terrible his acting was when he recognized that it was time to close? Well, it seems as if this actor - Tony Sabin Prince - got into doing puppeteering. He was Fran Dinosaur.

Not the momma! Yes, Mr. Prince played the momma.

SBTB 03.15 - Date Auction

Wendy, Wendy, Wendy. I am so sorry that Zack was a turd and that you still ended up accepting that he had changed by the last chance/dance of the night. Sweet, sweet Wendy.

Judy Carmen

This girl Wendy Parks, who thought she would have a great time with Zack since he always made her laugh, is played by Judy Carmen. Ms. Carmen does little else with Hollywood. She has one role on "Married...With Children" and gets shot in the head in the movie "Cyber Bandits." Who knows what she is doing with her life now. Hopefully something fulfilling.

Just real quick, let's talk about those new cheerleader uniforms. The school needs $600? Where have we heard that figure before, besides the very last episode? As you'll recall, Slater and Zack needed $600 to fix Mr. Belding's car and they very quickly raised the money by doing a raffle. In this episode, the school suddenly needs another $600 and a quick way to earn it. Raffle, anyone? Nope. Let's pimp out the boys of Bayside.

What is the beef here? Well, the old uniforms certainly needed to be updated.

And the new uniforms look great.

But I'm sure the reveal would have been more effective had we not already seen the new uniforms in the episode "Check Your Mate."

But why gripe? I mean, this is pretty par for the course. We've seen Season 1 episodes air in Season 2, and Season 3 has been a nightmare with school episodes intermixed with summer episodes. Clearly "Date Auction" should have aired before "Check Your Mate," but the producers probably didn't want the current episode to air so closely to Zack and Kelly's "big" break up. So, we are stuck with an odd continuity error.

Speaking of errors, how about that tool Brian Watkins?

Patrick J. Dancy

Seriously, what a tool! Brian is played admirably by Patrick J. Dancy. How do I know the role is admirably played? Because I've seen his other job. Just prior to this appearance, Ol' Patrick was a part of another NBC show that aired on Saturdays. You may have heard of it: "Guys Next Door." What? You are like me and have never heard of this show? Well, here's a video:

This is the intro to the show, which consisted of skits and videos, much like this one:

As you can see, Patrick has played a prancing boy band member. This is how I know that he acted admirably in our SBTB episode. Sure, he had other acting credits, but really, what is going to compare to "Guys Next Door?" Nothing. We move on.

Gah! Troll! I guess we'll take solace in the fact that this isn't another sighting in the Max. We move on.

What!?! Hey! You shut up, Dustin Diamond! We can't move on. This episode just had too much stuff going on.

Feel free to share what stood out to you in the comments below.